Lofty Childhood Dream Goals

It's that time of year where people are using the start of a new year to set goals in an attempt to change a behaviour pattern. Making short or long term behavioural changes to improve our quality of life is terrific, but how often are do they last? Today I am going to be discussing the peak of of goal setting pyramids, dream goals. Dream goals do in fact have something in common with New Years resolutions and that is that most are doomed to fail. Does this mean we should not bother setting or pursuing either type of goal? Let's find out.

Through emails and Serious Squash social media platforms I get a lot of messages from players all around the world. I recently had a 12 year old boy message me and tell me how his goal was to become world champion. It made me think about what it was like when I was that age. Twenty-six years ago I was wearing similar shoes as I was extremely driven to become the best in the world (I'm the little guy in the photo below).

When I was young I kept a journal where I logged my daily training sessions and I wrote out analysis from my matches. Some weeks I was on court more than 20 hours and solo hitting for 2-4 hours at a time. Nobody told me I should do this, I just instinctively knew that I had to do more than the competition to get the results and life that I dreamed of.

It's normal for young kids to have ambitions and dreams. A lot of kids dream about being the next Lebron James or in squash, Ramy Ashour. If we look at squash for an example there are very few world #1 ranked players in the history of our sport. Let's say there's been around 40 total (just a guess). Out of 40 total world #1's ever what are the odds of any child making this select group? If I was a mathematician I imagine it would be close, but not quite impossible. Yes just like the infamous scene from Dumb and Dumber, 'so you're saying there's a chance?'

I'm guessing many of the world top athletes all had these big dreams at one point or another, but 99.99+% of us never reach our dream goal of becoming the best in the world. And for the selection few who do reach their dream goal after a decade plus of dedication what is left to drive them forwards afterwards?

This is one of the most difficult things about squash. When you're an adult playing on the PSA tour there are no weight, age or height divisions. There is always a winner or loser so we can generally definitive say who is better than who. For something like music this is far different. Who is the best musician in thew world? I would argue it's not whoever sells the most albums and it would depend on personal preference. But for sports there's less of an argument, you either are or are not world #1. Which means at the time of writing this article only Ali Farag and Raneem El Wilily can say they are living their dream childhood goals while the rest of the pack are giving everything the have to experience that glory. Although it's an amazing feat I can't imagine many kids grow up dreaming of being world #2.

So if you are a parent or coach should you support your child's overly ambitious dreams of becoming the next Ramy (pictured above)? Or should we ensure that they have something to fall back on for they inevitably fail? I recall my parents saying 'what if you get hurt?' That's what parents are supposed to do; they're supposed to worry about your future and they tend to have a lot more common sense. When you're a kid (at least for me) I didn't care what anyone else said I could or couldn't do, I was going to be the best in the world; even though as you can tell from the photo above I was one of the smallest kids in my grade. I believe I was 12 in that photo and that was take n after beating my good friend and childhood rival in the final of the U13 U.S. Open.

Breaking news, I did not become world #1. I know it's sad, my dreams which I war absolutely convinced would happen didn't. But I did get to a pretty high level because of my dedication, work ethic and passion for the game. And it's because of what I was able to accomplish I learned that if I want to do something in life I can do it if I really put my mind to it.

As I get older it's not so simple resurrecting that same type of passion and dedication for a new goal that takes over your every thought and motivates each of the daily decisions you make. This is probably why I was a pretty serious coach for the first few years. How could anyone not put their everything into trying to become the best they can? It took probably close to 8-10 years of coaching to learn how to allow kids to be kids and have fun and to understand and most importably accept that they are not all (in fact very few are) the crazy self driven kid that I once was.

As a coach I think that trying to become the best I can be is something that motivates me most similar to that young version of me who lived for squash. And I've learnt that being the best coach does not mean just knowing the techniques, tactics, etc. Being a great coach is much more about dealing with different types of people, handling challenges, planning a variety of fun engaging practices which will also enable skill development.

Let's discuss outcome squash goals for the moment. Over the past decade I knew I wasn't going to play on the PSA tour, but I still trained a lot and tried to improve my game? There is this innate curiosity about still trying to improve oneself and as you improve various parts of your game you can't help but feel like your best game of squash is still ahead of you. I have also learned how to actually enjoy pushing myself hard in training and in matches. When I was a kid that is something I was not great at.

As I got older I also have learned to accept losing better, although I'm still not too good at it. When I was young I focused so much on winning that it put a lot of pressure on me and I focused on the wrong things (the outcome vs. the process). There are a lot of factors that are outside of your control when you play squash. Plus if you want to become the best you can possibly be you have to get spanked by better players along the way. How many matches do you think Ramy Ashour lost in his entire life? And how many tins do you think he hit in his career? A LOT!!!

I know this post is a little all over the place, but I really want to focus on motivation, perseverance and dream goals. It's not always easy finding things in life that are enjoyable when you lose something that you are so passionate about or when your goals change. When I was chasing world #1 I had a purpose each day. That purpose is so motivating and inspirational and it forces you to make a lot of sacrifices. That's why I love hearing someone else tell me that they have the same dream I once had. When kids set their goals too modestly they will not dig deep and grind it out and miraculously become a great champion some day.

A number of years ago I ran a camp with many of the top juniors in western Canada. Only 1 out of these top juniors said they had a dream goal of playing on the PSA tour. Some of their dream goals were things they could already achieve and had little meaning. I was so perplexed and upset as a coach. I wasn't sure if they didn't really want to put in the work needed to get to the top level or if they only wanted to set goals they knew that they could easily achieve? A little better than mediocracy is what I believe most kids, at least in Canada are striving for these days. We aren't brought up wanting or needing to work extra hard for something and getting uncomfortable enjoying that process of the daily grind. This is why it was quite refreshing when this recent junior shared his goal.

For a few years as a child I lived with purpose where my lofty dreams fuelled me. At school or lying in bed all I thought about was squash. Why does this happen to some kids and not others? Does it have something to do with the environment or genetics? Likely it's a mixture, but as a coach there is nothing better than working with someone so motivated and driven. It's easy to spot this type of dedication and dreams in athletes. There are many parents who are more motivated for their children's squash potential than their kids themselves; this rarely ever works out and the kids eventually will lose their motivation to play squash. Intrinsic motivation, persistence and a dare to dream is what it takes and those are things that someone else cannot wish upon you.

Do you think it's healthy to have dream goals even if they more than likely won't come true? Someone has to be the next Nicol David (pictured above), why not you?

What do you do when you finally have to give up on your dream goal? That I don't have all of the answers for, but I know I didn't feel as alive and as driven to do other things with the same focus and passion. Finding new goals or passions are certainly important. Wether it's training, improving a variety of skills on or off court, taking up a new hobby or what I thoroughly enjoy it helping someone else achieve something special.

Squash was what I've been most passionate about so that's why it's hard to envision doing anything besides coaching. Squash is what made me and it's how I feel I can pay it back to other people, especially the young motivated dreamers. I can't imagine being happy doing a random job that didn't interest me and I wasn't passionate about. I know that's what most people do, but I don't know how they do it. I would never go the extra mile (or for that matter do the bare minimum) for something that doesn't interest me. If I was doing something to make a living that didn't engage me I will admit I would not hire me.

Have you ever or do you currently have a dream goal? Even if other people think they are unrealistic, what keeps you working towards your dream? Do you have someone you aspire to be like? Role models who you can relate to can be extremely motivating and this can prove that what you want to do or where you want to go too is indeed possible. And here's my take on the popular quote, you may shoot for the stars and end up on the moon. But if you only aim for the moon you may not get far off the ground. Do you use the naysayers to motivate you to prove them wrong? Do you have a team that is supporting you with your dream goal? Because if there is 1 thing I do know for sure, it's that you can achieve much more with support than you can on your own.

I wish there was a way to see what past squash champions are all up to nowadays. How many are still involved in squash? How many are helping the up and coming future squash stars (like Jonathon Power and Diego Elias or Thierry Lincou and Amanda Sobhy)? Same goes for world champions in other sports. What do these former champions do to find meaning now that their time has come and gone? I'm sure family has a big impact on this and can help put things in perspective. Even still there's a reason Tiger Woods is still out there competing and training even though he's had countless surgeries and his back is a mess. Tiger sure doesn't need the money, but something keeps him teeing it up. I bet it's still his childhood dream of being world #1 and winning majors and these goals still have a stranglehold in his life.

I suppose this is we are so transfixed by athletes who do defy the odds and end up achieving their childhood dreams. There's a long list of books which attempt to get to the bottom of how and why elite performers achieved the results they did. All top athletes begin their sporting journey with a dream and there is nothing quite as intrinsically motivating as that dream. And for a few select hard working athletes dreams do once in awhile become a reality. Someone has to be world #1 so why not you?

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Is Squash Dying A Slow Inevitable Death?

It's hard to believe it's been over 3 months since my last blog post. I've still been quite active on the video side of Serious Squash on other platforms, but I do feel I need to get back to the blog more frequently in 2020. I'm going to start this trend by talking about the current state of squash.

As someone who has been a part of squash for 3 decades I have seen a lot of improvements and also some worrying signs for squash. The job the PSA does now filming the top events and interviewing the players is world class and has brought our sport forward by a substantial amount. When I was young we had a few expensive vhs tapes that we had to order and we'd watch these over and over. This was the only way you were able to watch professional squash back then.

The style of squash is something that has also improved greatly. Back in the 80's and 90's the racquets were heavy, the scoring promoted fitness and the higher tins meant the rallies and matches were generally long and boring; it was a battle of attrition basically. This began to change at least from our vhs player with players such as Rodney Martin and Jonathon Power. Chris Dittmar was also a favourite who just couldn't seem to crack the steady Jansher Khan (pictured below).

As squash players become more explosive, equipment improved, the tin was lowered and the scoring was changed, attacking squash began to become a fixture in the game. All professional sports have spent a lot of their resources recently to speed up play to keep viewers tuned in and interested. This is something squash has done quite well in my opinion. That being said squash gets little attention on sports news shows or on tv. Although I haven't had cable in about 8 years now, squash is failing to reach the mainstream. Would things improve if it got into the Olympics? Probably a little, but I don't think by a lot. There are lots of sports that don't get much airtime during the Olympics and which people don't ever consider playing anyways.

Squash is possibly the toughest sport on the body. To play at a high level you not only have to maintain an insanely high fitness level, but you also need to be healthy and have good mobility. For someone who is 38 now I know the challenges of this. I can only imagine how difficult it is for the weekend warriors. People who sit around staring at a computer or their phone all week now have to exert themselves to the max. Once injuries come into play the future of that squash player is in jeopardy. This is where hardball doubles is an excellent solution and having a social network at a club can keep squash members paying their membership dues even if they are not so active on the courts anymore.

I feel like every week or so I go on Facebook and see some story about a court or squash club closing its doors. Are the numbers of people playing really declining? Should we be worried about the future of our sport? Should I be worried about my chosen career path? If I had to answer those honestly, I would have to say, yes most definitely.

Let's think about the simple math for a second. A squash court and club takes up a lot of space. Only 2 players usually book a court that could fit 20+ into a fitness class. Most courts are only booked from 5pm-8pm. There is the occasional lunch game and some clubs will have some activity on the weekends. This is not an effective business model and owning a squash club seems like one of the worst investments you could make. And I'm saying this from a passionate and optimistic squash perspective.

Is having a successful squash club not possible anymore? It certainly is, but it takes a lot of work and a major commitment from both the coach (or coaches) and the owners or the of directors. For some people they want to just exercise and have fun within their small group of friends. Others like receiving coaching and meeting new people to play with at their level. If the average squash membership in Canada (excluding country clubs) is around $80/$120 month. How much on top of that do the members want to spend on extra things like tournaments, pro shop items, coaching, etc? People who go to yoga, spin or some other class will pay around $15/$25 for a class. It's clearly a cheaper (although some would argue less fun or skilled way to exercise), but there are a pile of these types of classes available all over. Cheaper and more convenient and injures are rarely an issue for this types of low impact classes.

Those of us that really enjoy competing know that squash can take over our life. It's what we think about and are willing to spend above and beyond what is reasonable to improve. Very few of us are going to play professionally and make a living at it, yet still there is a squash core that has an addiction to learning and becoming the best they can be. Squash to me also is a measuring stick for how fit I am and it helps me live a healthier lifestyle than if I was say a golf coach where fitness was not so vital to your ability to coach or play.

Many people have told me how pickleball is the fastest growing racquet sport. Most racquet sport players are older. We've spent 1000's of hours pushing ourselves to the limits and still not quite getting the results we've envisioned. There's also pressure in the expectations and the results we place on ourselves every time we step on court. I've met very few good losers at any level. When we switch to a different sport which we are somewhat competent in we can relax more and enjoy the sport for what it is. There isn't a hierarchy we have to mold into and obviously injuries or mobility doesn't play as much of a factor in pickleball. I also have to say any new sport will be faster growing than a more deeply rooted sport. So maybe we don't need to be worry too much about people switching to pickleball, but perhaps about the lack of new people trying and getting hooked on squash.

So what do I see is the future of squash? Is there a future for squash? I feel like it's becoming more privileged again. Only fancy country clubs and schools will be able to afford to not make money on their squash programs. I do believe an excellent coach can create a sustained successful program at a given club, but there are not enough of these types off coaches that are willing to do the work for what many clubs are willing to pay. I've never made above the median national income in Canada and I certainly don't now in Turks and Caicos either. Eventually coaches have families or want to stop paying rent and many will either take a cushy fancy job or flock to the U.S. so they can make ends meat.

The U.S. was so brutal at squash when I was young. Nowadays the U.S. is where the top paying coaching careers are. U.S. Squash is what's keeping squash alive in my opinion. The U.S. has the resources and finance their sports far greater than most countries. They send huge junior teams to international events and the College Squash Association (a match at Yale pictured below) is basically the PSA minor league system. School squash is not only the future of squash, it is squash. Most clubs aren't producing enough juniors to keep their courts booked and the bills all paid. This is why I would love to see more schools in Canada build courts and hire squash coaches. Not that many years ago there used to be a battle of the border where Ontario juniors would take on the US national team and team Ontario was stronger. Eventually they caught up and now they are beating us even when we send our top national juniors.

So what is the future of squash clubs? I believe they will continually struggle and they will soon be nearly as extinct as the dinosaur. That being said I have seen some successful squash clubs and what they have done mostly well is retained top coaches who have a passion for coaching and they also have a huge social network within their club. If your squash club feels like a home away from home it has hope; as long as there are enough people that feel the same. As most Canadians will know, Goodlife chose to shut down their squash courts last year. I think there's 1 or 2 still fighting to keep their doors open. But it's a fact that almost all of us would rather operate a successful business than a struggling one. Unless your club is run or owned by a seriously crazy squash enthusiast the future growth and success of that club must be a concern.

I also think squash clubs need to be creative and use social media better. There are very few clubs, programs or coaches that have any social media presence. There also needs to have perks that keep members coming back. Maybe having a bar, a ping pong table, a badminton court, a decent gym, a sauna, etc. can all make memberships more appealing. But one of the most challenging things is getting a non squash player into the doors and having them sign up for a membership and decide to pay for lessons to learn how to play properly. A lot of us started playing because someone helped us get into it and got on court with us when we couldn't keep a rally going.

One of the clubs I grew up playing at (Ajax) used to be busy and had a lot of top players, but now it's a ghost town. Pine Valley had the largest house league in Toronto and eventually was bought out and closed. The Victoria Squash Club is another one where one of the best coaches in the country couldn't keep the doors open. There's plenty of other examples all over the world. How can we all do our part to keep squash alive? Is it dying a slow inevitable death? I haven't given up hope yet so wherever I'm coaching I'll keep trying to do my best at growing the game 1 person at a time and hopefully I'll keep some of you around the world motivated and interested in squash through this blog and from my more regular posts on Youtube, Facebook and Instagram. I also believe that a lot of coaches (me included at times) focus so much on the top juniors or players that we don't put enough time in growing the quantity of people picking up a racquet and keeping them engaged.

Do you have some other ideas on how we can improve our sport? Should we go permanently to 2 out 3? Should we try RAM scoring? I mean really, if Rmay couldn't save our sport who can? Should we lower the tin even more? Should we change the bounce of the ball? How can squash get more attention on sports networks? How can we get more schools to get their kids to a squash club to try it out?

Do we need to promote crazier and fun types of rallies? It's boring watching a low scoring hockey, basketball or baseball or soccer game. How can we make squash more explosive and entertaining for fans? I'm all about good sportsmanship, but do we need a new explicative Jonthon Power? What if we took away lets? What if we made squash more physical? Should we promote the audience to be vocal during a point? Should we do more video replays? Should we have timeouts? Does the PSA need to do a better job showcasing their players outside of the rectangle? Do government bodies need to do a better job on promoting memberships and tournament participation? Do we just need to get the Olympics nod? We have to try something because what we are doing for the most part isn't working.

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