Lofty Childhood Dream Goals

It's that time of year where people are using the start of a new year to set goals in an attempt to change a behaviour pattern. Making short or long term behavioural changes to improve our quality of life is terrific, but how often are do they last? Today I am going to be discussing the peak of of goal setting pyramids, dream goals. Dream goals do in fact have something in common with New Years resolutions and that is that most are doomed to fail. Does this mean we should not bother setting or pursuing either type of goal? Let's find out.

Through emails and Serious Squash social media platforms I get a lot of messages from players all around the world. I recently had a 12 year old boy message me and tell me how his goal was to become world champion. It made me think about what it was like when I was that age. Twenty-six years ago I was wearing similar shoes as I was extremely driven to become the best in the world (I'm the little guy in the photo below).

When I was young I kept a journal where I logged my daily training sessions and I wrote out analysis from my matches. Some weeks I was on court more than 20 hours and solo hitting for 2-4 hours at a time. Nobody told me I should do this, I just instinctively knew that I had to do more than the competition to get the results and life that I dreamed of.

It's normal for young kids to have ambitions and dreams. A lot of kids dream about being the next Lebron James or in squash, Ramy Ashour. If we look at squash for an example there are very few world #1 ranked players in the history of our sport. Let's say there's been around 40 total (just a guess). Out of 40 total world #1's ever what are the odds of any child making this select group? If I was a mathematician I imagine it would be close, but not quite impossible. Yes just like the infamous scene from Dumb and Dumber, 'so you're saying there's a chance?'

I'm guessing many of the world top athletes all had these big dreams at one point or another, but 99.99+% of us never reach our dream goal of becoming the best in the world. And for the selection few who do reach their dream goal after a decade plus of dedication what is left to drive them forwards afterwards?

This is one of the most difficult things about squash. When you're an adult playing on the PSA tour there are no weight, age or height divisions. There is always a winner or loser so we can generally definitive say who is better than who. For something like music this is far different. Who is the best musician in thew world? I would argue it's not whoever sells the most albums and it would depend on personal preference. But for sports there's less of an argument, you either are or are not world #1. Which means at the time of writing this article only Ali Farag and Raneem El Wilily can say they are living their dream childhood goals while the rest of the pack are giving everything the have to experience that glory. Although it's an amazing feat I can't imagine many kids grow up dreaming of being world #2.

So if you are a parent or coach should you support your child's overly ambitious dreams of becoming the next Ramy (pictured above)? Or should we ensure that they have something to fall back on for they inevitably fail? I recall my parents saying 'what if you get hurt?' That's what parents are supposed to do; they're supposed to worry about your future and they tend to have a lot more common sense. When you're a kid (at least for me) I didn't care what anyone else said I could or couldn't do, I was going to be the best in the world; even though as you can tell from the photo above I was one of the smallest kids in my grade. I believe I was 12 in that photo and that was take n after beating my good friend and childhood rival in the final of the U13 U.S. Open.

Breaking news, I did not become world #1. I know it's sad, my dreams which I war absolutely convinced would happen didn't. But I did get to a pretty high level because of my dedication, work ethic and passion for the game. And it's because of what I was able to accomplish I learned that if I want to do something in life I can do it if I really put my mind to it.

As I get older it's not so simple resurrecting that same type of passion and dedication for a new goal that takes over your every thought and motivates each of the daily decisions you make. This is probably why I was a pretty serious coach for the first few years. How could anyone not put their everything into trying to become the best they can? It took probably close to 8-10 years of coaching to learn how to allow kids to be kids and have fun and to understand and most importably accept that they are not all (in fact very few are) the crazy self driven kid that I once was.

As a coach I think that trying to become the best I can be is something that motivates me most similar to that young version of me who lived for squash. And I've learnt that being the best coach does not mean just knowing the techniques, tactics, etc. Being a great coach is much more about dealing with different types of people, handling challenges, planning a variety of fun engaging practices which will also enable skill development.

Let's discuss outcome squash goals for the moment. Over the past decade I knew I wasn't going to play on the PSA tour, but I still trained a lot and tried to improve my game? There is this innate curiosity about still trying to improve oneself and as you improve various parts of your game you can't help but feel like your best game of squash is still ahead of you. I have also learned how to actually enjoy pushing myself hard in training and in matches. When I was a kid that is something I was not great at.

As I got older I also have learned to accept losing better, although I'm still not too good at it. When I was young I focused so much on winning that it put a lot of pressure on me and I focused on the wrong things (the outcome vs. the process). There are a lot of factors that are outside of your control when you play squash. Plus if you want to become the best you can possibly be you have to get spanked by better players along the way. How many matches do you think Ramy Ashour lost in his entire life? And how many tins do you think he hit in his career? A LOT!!!

I know this post is a little all over the place, but I really want to focus on motivation, perseverance and dream goals. It's not always easy finding things in life that are enjoyable when you lose something that you are so passionate about or when your goals change. When I was chasing world #1 I had a purpose each day. That purpose is so motivating and inspirational and it forces you to make a lot of sacrifices. That's why I love hearing someone else tell me that they have the same dream I once had. When kids set their goals too modestly they will not dig deep and grind it out and miraculously become a great champion some day.

A number of years ago I ran a camp with many of the top juniors in western Canada. Only 1 out of these top juniors said they had a dream goal of playing on the PSA tour. Some of their dream goals were things they could already achieve and had little meaning. I was so perplexed and upset as a coach. I wasn't sure if they didn't really want to put in the work needed to get to the top level or if they only wanted to set goals they knew that they could easily achieve? A little better than mediocracy is what I believe most kids, at least in Canada are striving for these days. We aren't brought up wanting or needing to work extra hard for something and getting uncomfortable enjoying that process of the daily grind. This is why it was quite refreshing when this recent junior shared his goal.

For a few years as a child I lived with purpose where my lofty dreams fuelled me. At school or lying in bed all I thought about was squash. Why does this happen to some kids and not others? Does it have something to do with the environment or genetics? Likely it's a mixture, but as a coach there is nothing better than working with someone so motivated and driven. It's easy to spot this type of dedication and dreams in athletes. There are many parents who are more motivated for their children's squash potential than their kids themselves; this rarely ever works out and the kids eventually will lose their motivation to play squash. Intrinsic motivation, persistence and a dare to dream is what it takes and those are things that someone else cannot wish upon you.

Do you think it's healthy to have dream goals even if they more than likely won't come true? Someone has to be the next Nicol David (pictured above), why not you?

What do you do when you finally have to give up on your dream goal? That I don't have all of the answers for, but I know I didn't feel as alive and as driven to do other things with the same focus and passion. Finding new goals or passions are certainly important. Wether it's training, improving a variety of skills on or off court, taking up a new hobby or what I thoroughly enjoy it helping someone else achieve something special.

Squash was what I've been most passionate about so that's why it's hard to envision doing anything besides coaching. Squash is what made me and it's how I feel I can pay it back to other people, especially the young motivated dreamers. I can't imagine being happy doing a random job that didn't interest me and I wasn't passionate about. I know that's what most people do, but I don't know how they do it. I would never go the extra mile (or for that matter do the bare minimum) for something that doesn't interest me. If I was doing something to make a living that didn't engage me I will admit I would not hire me.

Have you ever or do you currently have a dream goal? Even if other people think they are unrealistic, what keeps you working towards your dream? Do you have someone you aspire to be like? Role models who you can relate to can be extremely motivating and this can prove that what you want to do or where you want to go too is indeed possible. And here's my take on the popular quote, you may shoot for the stars and end up on the moon. But if you only aim for the moon you may not get far off the ground. Do you use the naysayers to motivate you to prove them wrong? Do you have a team that is supporting you with your dream goal? Because if there is 1 thing I do know for sure, it's that you can achieve much more with support than you can on your own.

I wish there was a way to see what past squash champions are all up to nowadays. How many are still involved in squash? How many are helping the up and coming future squash stars (like Jonathon Power and Diego Elias or Thierry Lincou and Amanda Sobhy)? Same goes for world champions in other sports. What do these former champions do to find meaning now that their time has come and gone? I'm sure family has a big impact on this and can help put things in perspective. Even still there's a reason Tiger Woods is still out there competing and training even though he's had countless surgeries and his back is a mess. Tiger sure doesn't need the money, but something keeps him teeing it up. I bet it's still his childhood dream of being world #1 and winning majors and these goals still have a stranglehold in his life.

I suppose this is we are so transfixed by athletes who do defy the odds and end up achieving their childhood dreams. There's a long list of books which attempt to get to the bottom of how and why elite performers achieved the results they did. All top athletes begin their sporting journey with a dream and there is nothing quite as intrinsically motivating as that dream. And for a few select hard working athletes dreams do once in awhile become a reality. Someone has to be world #1 so why not you?

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Serious Squash Workbook: A Guide To Winning Squash

Since my competitive days playing varsity squash I've always written squash tables, charts and documents. I've posted hundreds of my opinions, thoughts and facts about squash and coaching on this blog over the past few years. Recently I was going through my computer and I discovered piles of documents I designed over the years. Many were for coaching purposes or simply out of interest. 

I completed my bachelors in kinesiology and my masters in coaching studies. Even though I wasn't too fond of school in high school, I always loved learning more about squash, training and sport at the post secondary level. Learning about things that are interesting and that can actually help you become better at squash are great. The more I knew, the better the squash player I could become and when I started coaching, the more I information I could pass on to my students. 

As I got into coaching I started constantly designing various excepts which you will find in this manual which I've titled 'A Guide To Winning Squash.' They are meant to be thought provoking and lead an athlete through the process of designing an individual tool and skill set they can use for a specific part of their game.  

Here is a glimpse of the 'Routines' chapter. I discuss the importance of prematch and between rally routines and guide you through he processionals of building your own

Some of you have already purchased my masters final project which was extremely comprehensive. I've recently posted it in the Serious Squash Shop as a digital download. That document took a LONG time to write, edit and get to a point where it was approved by my academic supervisor. 

Now I haver finally finished compiling my squash tables, charts and articles in a 17 chapter and 70 page working document. It's a bit of a scrapbook for athletes or coaches to use. Some sections go into great detail, while others are brief and just touch on what I feel is interesting or valid. 

Here is a small sample from the 'Technical Testing' chapter. In it I show how to design a chart to track various areas of yours (or if your a coach your athletes shot ability and consistency)

If this is the type of thing that interest you, you can download a digital copy in word and pdf format for $9.99CDN now in the store at SeriousSquashShop.com/collections/squash-documents It comes with a no questions asked money back guarantee. 

Here are a few more clips from the document. 

Here's a look at the 'Strategy and Tactics' chapter. Understanding how you want to play and learning from your matches are extremely important parts of improving your squash game

The chapters in the workbook are as follows:
Chapter 1: Developing a Coaching Philosophy
Chapter 2: The Process of Performance
Chapter 3: Goal Setting
Chapter 4: Imagery
Chapter 5: Focus
Chapter 6: Motivation
Chapter 7: Key Performance Indicators
Chapter 8: Match Situations
Chapter 9: Technical Testing
Chapter 10: Off Court Aerobic and Anaerobic Fitness Training
Chapter 11: On Court Circuit Training
Chapter 12: Fitness Testing
Chapter 13: Footwork and Court Movement
Chapter 14: Routines
Chapter 15: Drills and Best Practices
Chapter 16: Strategy and Tactics
Chapter 17: In Conclusion

Monitoring Off Court Training For Groups

When you work with a wide range or age groups it's difficult to have them all on the same training plan and to evenly track all of their progress and offer motivation for both on and off the court. So what I've created was a document where I can track each of their off court training improvements through a variety of exercises which I feel are most appropriate towards their development as an athlete and in particular a squash player. Ideally this chart will also provide motivation and goal setting for the kids too.

How the chart works is they simply get a checkmark when they've completed a certain physical skill task. The idea is to have levels that are challenging for each player so they can continually aim for incremental improvements, which over a long time can lead to a big change in an individual. It's just begun, so only time will be the judge to see how well it works. This is also the first season where the kids are expected to complete 2 off court gym sessions on their own outside of our on court training which is 4x per week.

Beep Test	8.1	9.1	10.1	10.6	11.1	11.6	12.1	12.6	13.1	13.6	14.1	14.6	15.1

Consecutive Pushups	10	20	25	30	35	40	45	50	55	60	70	80	90	100

Consecutive Skipping	50 FW	100 FW	150 FW	200 FW	250 FW	50 BW	100 BW	150 BW	200 BW

Bear Crawl with golf T on back	Width of court	Length of court	Length X2	Around entire court	Total distance with ball on top of T

Plank	1 min.	2 min.	3 min.	4 min.	5 min.	1 min. side	2 min. side	3 min side

Lunges (per leg)	30 sec. hold	60 sec. hold	90 sec. hold	2 min. hold	50 lunge forwards and back	20 lunge jumps (40 total)	30 lunge jumps (60 total)	40 lunge jumps (80 total)

Squats	10 proper squats	30 squats	50 squats	20 squat jumps	30 squats jumps	40 squat jumps	50 squat jumps	20 burpees with PU	30 burpees with PU	40 burpees with PU

Flexibility/Stretching	Hamstring	Quads	Hips/Glutes	Calves	Shoulders	Trouble Areas?
Sufficient ROM

Nutrition?	Proper Sleep?	Hydration?	Warm up routine?	Cool down routine?

Anything you feel I'm missing? For the record these kids are between 12 and 18 years old. The coaches have demonstrated and shown that the exercises are all done with proper techniques before adding reps and/or weight. 

Legend: PU = pushups FW = forwards BW = backwards. The golf tee is a plastic driving range one that has a round bottom. You can also use a plastic cup or empty yogurt container.

When I was a kid we had some equipment in our basement, but I didn't know what I was doing or how much to do of something. I had no program or guidance on technique for exercises. It's impossible to play squash at a top level without strong glutes, calves, quads, hamstrings and of course core. The past 3 years since a minor knee surgery I've been steadily going to the gym and working with some great trainers and I feel more stable on court than I did when I was competing.  Here are a few of the pics from some of the various exercises we've done. It's always tailored to squash. You can find a lot more of them on the Serious Squash Instagram page.

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Stay Unrealistic and Prove The Doubters Wrong

When I was a kid I had very supportive parents. They would bring me to squash tournaments all over North America and even over the Scottish and British Opens one year. I had a lot of success as a young squash nut winning the Canadian nationals and U.S. Open with some other high finishes along the way. As a young boy I beat some players that went on to play professionally and make it inside the top 50. Unfortunately I quit playing squash when I was 14 for about 5 years so I never really got to make a go at becoming the best I could be. I also dreamed of becoming a world champion and was convinced I would, but why do some kids stop chasing their goals and others don't?

When you're a kid you think anything is possible (at least I did) and if you worked hard enough you could do whatever you want. Teachers ask kids what they want to be when they grow up and they often say something pretty unrealistic like an astronaut; but someone has to be an astronaut. Just because something is a long shot doesn't mean it's not going to happen. How and why do kids stop believing in themselves and chasing their dreams? There's probably a few reason why this occurs.

Kids are stereotyped because of their physique or where they come from so some don't get as much attention and don't get selected to higher level teams. Parents also feel like kids should grow up at a certain age and think and act more like an adult; which basically means focus on making money and doing less of what you like. There's also a definite lack of unrelenting belief within some people. People are too quick to think they just don't have that fire or willpower, but it is something anyone can have in the right environment and upbringing. I believe this is a learned habit and having a taste of success can go a long way to fuelling your dream.

When I was a kid of course (yes I'm the small 1 in the below pic) I would always say I wanted to be a pro squash player and not just that but world #1. Even after having quite a bit of success not everyone was thinking my dreams were very realistic or sustainable and I'd always be told to focus more on my studies. I remember 1 time my parents asking me what would happen if I for example have knee problems and could no longer play professionally? I remember stating that, 'if I get injured and can't compete anymore I'll be a coach.' So it wasn't my first choice, but it's funny that's what happened.

See parents are always worrying about what could go wrong and worry a lot about their children. Parents want their kids to be able to take care of themselves and becoming a professional squash player means more than likely they'll be disappointed, possibly uneducated enough to get a good job if squash doesn't work out and also have financial problems (because we all know there's not much money in pro squash). If parents are pushing kids into squash normally it's to help get them into a good school, not to make a living doing it. It's this sensible and protective nature which eventually kills the dreams of kids. Just because your parents didn't achieve their childhood dreams don't let this affect your passion. I believe this is why the kids of successful athletes are more likely to make it to the pro level; not only are the kids seeing the work ethic and lifestyle it takes, but they see what daddy or mommy did and of course they think if they did it we can to and the parents also think this way. If you're surrounded by people that believe in your dreams you'll be far more likely to achieve them.

I've heard many other parents over the years who also told their kids what they should be striving for and to set realistic expectations so they don't get let down when they fail to achieve their unrealistic goals. How would anyone in the world every achieve anything great if we all erred on the side of caution and realism? You only live once and I don't understand trying to take the safest route just to avoid disappointment. Wanting to play professional squash is a long shot let alone making a living playing it, but it is certainly possible. It can also open up doors to other avenues, so my big point today is to support the dreams and goals of those around you no matter how absurd and unrealistic they may seem. As soon as we start putting walls up and telling them to grow up and think about their future we kill their hope and without hope there is no more dreaming or passion. You may just be amazed by how far motivation and belief can take someone.

Some parents may have unrealistically high expectations for their kids, so let's not confuse these with intrinsic desires and goals. So if you have a kid that wants to be the best in the world at something don't tell them it isn't going to happen. Even though I didn't become #1 in the world or play professional squash I know from my experience and success as a young kid that I can do anything in the world if I put my mind to it, am passionate about it and stick with it. Just because you think it's a silly dream it's wrong to tell someone they can't do something so if you care about that individual you should support them and believe in them. And if you're the 1 having doubts yourself hopefully this post will give you some extra courage to keep fighting for your dreams.

Even if you don't achieve what you originally set out to do you'll likely realize 1 day that it was the journey which mattered most, not the destination; this is why process goals and making the most out of what you have is so critical. I think this is why many of the former world #1's over the past few years have let their standards slip. They reach their life long dream and the drive to chase the top of the podium is gone. It's also much tougher to play trying to maintain something and to not lose than it is if you're hungry and gunning for the top and your childhood dream.

I read in a book how LeBron James has set a goal to become the best player of all time, not just the best player in the league each season. So if you are so fortunate to reach your dream goal you better think even bigger and come up with some goals that other people would think are impossible. It's also key to focus on the process of becoming the absolute best you can be. If you can do this you will still find ways and areas to improve upon regardless of whether you've achieved your outcome dream goal or not.

I remember about 5 years ago running a provincial camp for the top kids here in British Columbia. I handed out a questionnaire to them and 1 of the questions asked what their dream goal was for squash. Only 1 of them put to play professionally. Many of the goals were extremely modest or not challenging whatsoever; it basically showed me that these kids were not going to go as far as they were capable of simply from the response of a single question. I believe these low standards are learned behaviours from their environment and as a coach they drive me nuts. I know a kid can never be that good if they don't think they can. I would much rather work with a less talented child who goes to bed dreaming of becoming the next world champion and has the work ethic to back it up.

I really hope I reach at least 1 person with this article and if I make a difference in their belief and goals I will be extremely happy. Whether it's you as a supporting role or as the athlete him/herself. I know when we lose to many matches or have a poor season we get down on our game and our expectations about what we can do can quickly diminish. But squash is not a sprint, it's a long race and it takes a commitment to your long term development and the mind is the key to achieving greatness.

Learning to cope with poor performances and disappointment is something your team can help you with, but ultimately has to come from within. If you need that extra incentive to fuel you along, try and prove any doubters wrong. Someone doesn't select you for a team, work harder and prove you belonged. Many low draft picks in major league sports carry this chip on their shoulder each and every day at practice even well after they have been successful. Don't play and practice angry, just play with determination and complete confidence that you have something to prove. Just because you haven't or somebody hasn't done something before it doesn't mean it can never be done. The main obstacle is also what can be your greatest asset, the mind.

Ramy Ashour will have doubts about his health and his hamstring for the rest of his career and for good reason, yet he continues to fight. Why? Because he still believes and has hope while others are all to quick to write him off and wonder why he won't hang up his racquet. He wouldn't have gotten to the incredible level that he has without having to deal with plenty of criticism and adversity over the years; when you handle these instances well it makes you tougher and you gain more confidence in your ability to do anything you put your mind to. Even though it's his body letting him down, it's the battle in between the ears which are the toughest to overcome.

Don't let others tell you what you can or can't do. As a former top junior and coach I know how important belief, intrinsic motivation and will power can be. Prove the naysayers wrong and become the next world champion and be sure to thank me in your acceptance speech in 10 years time :)

If you are trying to become the best possible squash player you can be make the most out of all of your practice time. If you're looking to improve your solo practice, or even simply begin solo hitting check out the new Serious Squash full length advanced instructional film The Secrets Of Solo Hitting. It contains over 30 of the best solo drills with tips on how each drill will help you improve. Pick up your copy today at SeriousSquashShop.com/collections/coaching-videos Here's an in depth preview from my Youtube channel:

The Pressure Of Expectations And Outcome Goals

Being a Blue Jays fan and watching them fall apart here the last month of the season makes me think about how the focus on the outcome of sport can cause us to perform poorly. I think back over the years of competing and whenever you're the #1 seed there is some form of pressure. I don't know why we focus so much on winning when that is what causes us to feel pressure and is not what we should be focusing on when we are performing.

For anyone who has not been watching the Jays collapse it is quite apparent. They are playing against teams that have nothing to lose, are loose and having fun and they are beating up on the supposedly superior Blue Jays team. The Jays know the importance of each game and when you've played over 100 baseball games where the outcome of each game is not nearly as critical, it's no wonder they begin to fall apart when they actually NEED to perform at their best. It's such a strange sport because of this. You obviously want to win every game, throw a strike every pitch and get a hit every at bat, but that just doesn't happen. You win some and hopefully you lose less. But when the standings are really tight and the ending of the season is in sight and playoffs are on the line it's interesting how the pressure to perform has gotten the better of a collective group of elite athletes. It must be super difficult to HAVE to win now when the games matter more and perhaps trying harder is the exact opposite of what they need to do.

Let's get back to squash. We've all experienced this before; you are winning and nearing the end of the game or match and all of the sudden your thoughts to drift to the imminent victory and your opponent begins to not try so hard. It's no wonder in this previous example that the player who feels they are going to lose starts to go for more shots and feel more relaxed. Meanwhile the person who was in control most of the match begins to think about the outcome and has lost focused. After the person that was winning loses a few points in a row they begin to feel some anxiety about what is happening. Sound familiar? So how did we all end up focusing so much on the outcome when that is exactly what destroys us? How do we learn to shift our focus onto more positive and controllable actions? 

I think a big problem starts when we grow up watching pro sports. We hear praise for our local teams when they succeed and curse them for underperforming. We have parades when our home team wins a championship. What kind of child doesn't grow up thinking they have those same standards when they compete? We all want a parade! We want to be better than other people and we can measure this in sports from the scoreboard. This is setting kids up for disaster because everyone is going to lose and we shouldn't feel bad and like we let someone down when we do. This is just the society we were brought up in. Somehow we are more proud of our kids if they win. That's a lot of pressure to feel when you step out on the squash court. Think about how tough this is over the course of an entire year. We aren't always going to be in tip top match form so how can we expect to win against people we believe we SHOULD beat regardless of the day? And when a child loses a tight match they end up in tears, yet the winner is all smiles and proud of their accomplishment.

First off an athlete needs to understand that there are various cycles throughout the year when you are working on different areas of your game or fitness and the outcome of a match during these heavy training or non-competitive times simply do not matter. Even during the competitive season I feel we would all benefit greatly by focusing on the process of our performances versus our results. I remember often going into a practice match with an idea to implement some new tactic to practice it, but when it wasn't working and I began losing I would quickly abandon the concept and just do whatever it took to win. This is something most of us deal with. We can only think about what we want now instead of what is best for us down the road. We have pride in our ability and an ego to feed.

Have you ever avoided hitting the right shot because we are afraid what happens if we miss it? I assume this anxiousness is because your thoughts are completely about the outcome. If we miss an opening we could lose! This is how I eventually started turning things around. I began focusing on playing the right shot and not worrying about the execution whatsoever. If you do this the shots will get better with practice and you'll be more committed to the shots you go for. In squash you have to play some shots with higher degrees of risk. You'll also focus more on what you should hit and on the tactics in general. If we can stay relaxed and enjoy our squash we will also hit better shots with less tension in our arm with added confidence in our shot selection. This is an important step for becoming the best player you can be, at least it was for me.

You may be thinking that this sounds a little soft and not competitive. I enjoy competition and hate losing as much as anyone, but I have only learned later in my career how much this narrow mindset held me back and put more pressure on my results. Winning is not completely in your control and it isn't fair to say you didn't perform well just because of a scoreboard. You could very well of played up to your standard and just didn't have the result you had hoped for. Losing is actually a great learning tool. Without a doubt I have learned the most from my losses. I didn't like those lessons, but they were very important. If you avoid competing against players you think you should beat you are probably doing this because of the pressure you feel to win and that there is nothing to gain from the match. This is a silly and a damaging mindset. You should not be avoiding competition for this reason because this is an outcome based approach and unless you are 1 of the best in the world you are still a developing player and in the learning stage of squash. Stay humble. If we focus on the process and what we're trying to do and improve upon on court there is always a reason to tie up your shoes and compete. Just be sure you go into these matches with more than simply an outcome goal. 

As a more experienced coach I don't worry about if one of my kids are winning or losing. I try and focus on what they're doing and how they can do it better. It's all about learning and becoming the best they can be. So although squash is played against an opponent there you should focus on what you can do on court. There is a lot each opponent can teach you if you're willing to pay attention. If you don't do well against someone it simply means they have exposed some areas you need to improve, which is not a bad thing! If you love squash and are dedicated to becoming the best you can be you should thank them, go and work on these areas diligently over and over again until it gets to the level you are satisfied with. You go back out and retest what you've worked on and you get a new assessment of your skill and this repeats over and over again. And if you're like me you'll just work on these areas your squash career because you'll always know that it can be better and more consistent with just a little more deliberate practice. 

I feel like the best squash the world has to see will come from a completely process oriented approach by a player. They type of player will always be looking to improve and will never be satisfied with any result because they are basically a perfectionist for a sport that can never be perfected.  If you don't focus on winning you won't feel the pressure over the course of the season or your career and you will experiment more. To become the best we could possibly ever be that means we must be willing to make a lot of mistakes, experiment and learn from them. If we avoid trying things because we may make mistakes and lose in the short term we are only hurting ourselves and lowering our ceiling of potential. I hope this makes sense to you. It seems very clear to me and I wish I hadn't won as much as a kid. Maybe I never would have quit squash and maybe I would have learned to enjoy playing more and also focus on improving my game and not focusing on the other kids and being better than them.

It's only natural to feed our egos and want to be better than other people. In squash a good player can build up quite an ego. If you really want to be the best I suggest a process based approach and a deep love for squash. Stay humble and work on becoming the best you can be. I feel like many parents and coaches are so caught up trying to make their kid better than some other kids. When really it should all be focused around fun and how to help each of those kids become the best that they can be (which is not measured simply by their result of playing one another!). If you measure this just on their performance against one another, how do you think the loser of the match it going to feel? Does that mean all that work they put in was for nothing? Why can't they both feel like winners because of how amazingly talented they are? There is a delicate balance that I feel it is being crossed by a lot of parents and coaches around the world as they push their kids to pursue their own personal agendas (not their kids goals). If this happens there is even more pressure that these kids are going to feel every time they step out on court. 

All this being said I still have no problem with a kid trying to become a national or world champion. I just believe they need to learn to focus on HOW they become the best that they can be, not just on being the best compared to other people. If you truly pursue being the best you can be you'll give yourself a great shot and you'll be able to play with less pressure and focus on the outcome. This is why I think process goals are so critical. You ask kids to set goals and 95% of the time they are only process oriented goals. How you achieve these outcome goals is what you should focus on all of the time. 

All of the above is why I am also against prioritizing tournaments for juniors. Yes some events are bigger and the competition is more fierce, but we put pressure on them if we write on their annual training plan that this is their most important even of the season of their career. We are spending lots of money to take our kid to another country so we want more value for this investment. This is junior squash and an amateur event. Of course we don't want them going to a an event unprepared and without confidence, but the stage shouldn't be too big for them either. It's just about doing what they do back home and learning from playing new players what they are doing well and what areas need to improve. It's also about learning to prepare the best you possibly can and if you do this there is now way you can ever leave a tournament as a failure regardless of the results.

Every time a kid plays a tournament they want to do well and every match matters equally; same for most adults. But really they are just measuring tools to see how we're doing and they will let us know if we need to refine our training. I think that if kids can have fun when they play at tournaments regardless of the 'specified level of importance' we give it they will generally perform better and take away a more positive experience. But I do see how this could change because we are all built differently and we all handle competition differently. Some have lots of anxiety and get really nervous while others adrenalin. Others hate competition altogether because they feel pressure to perform and don't like doing something they can't control the result of. This is because we were all brought up in a society that's praised winning and shamed losing, both in business and in professional sports.

That's enough for today. I feel like there is way more pressure on kids to achieve certain standards now compared to when I was young. Is your goal as a parent or a coach to get your kid into a top American school or to become a professional player or to love the game and play for their entire life? Do you know what the goals of your child are? Maybe that's a good place to start with because they are likely quite different and they may surprise you. They are also probably all process oriented and you may be happy hearing that they want to be a national or world champion, but the key is in the HOW not the WHAT.

I hope you guys enjoyed my banter today. If you haven't already done so please check out the new Serious Squash Store at SeriousSquashShop.com Use the code 'SSROCKS' to receive 15% off your order! I've got lots of t-shirts, tank tops, bandanas, hats and wristbands. Serious Squash is also now a clothing sponsor which I know is a bit ironic after todays topic because the standards are based on your national ranking. But I do offer lowered tier sponsorships for kids with exceptional work ethics, are well behaved and excellent role models. I am not against competing or rankings. I just like them to reflect your process oriented goals and hard work. 

Living Life With Passion On And Off The Court

I'm pretty confident that I'm not the only one out there who thinks like this...

As adults we think that best times of our lives are in our lives were when we were kids. When we were young we had fun everyday. We would play, we weren't stressed out about stuff like bills or our kids. When we were young the future was also bright and full of possibilities. We could do anything in the world we wanted when we grew up. Now as someone approaching middle age I can't help but wake up in the morning and realize that THIS is my life. This is what I have become and who I will be until the day I die. Which for the record I hope is not for a few more good decades.

Now as a fairly responsible adult who goes to work, pays his bills on time and doesn't go out partying with his friends on the weekends, this is my life and my contribution as part of a responsible adult society. When we were young, at least when I was, I always assumed a path wouldn't naturally open up and I would eventually figure out what it was I was going to do for a living. For much of my childhood I was sure it would be a professional squash player, but that wasn't very plausible or reasonable. Although when I was young I didn't care that it wasn't reasonable and that I wouldn't make lots of money. I absolutely loved squash and was very dedicated towards my dream for a number of years. 

So what's changed now as an adult? I didn't become a pro squash player so my childhood dream didn't quite pan out like I thought they would. I've been pretty happy with my coaching career up to now and I feel like I've made a difference in peoples lives, especially kids. This is kind of just something that felt like a natural progression for me to follow. At university I was a player-captian and it just made sense that I still loved the game and it was my time to give back to the sport I've loved most of my life. 

For the past 7 years I've been coaching and there have been parts I've enjoyed and others I haven't. What I find interesting and what this post is really all about is that over this period of time I've spent a lot of time reflecting about my past and what I could have been. I see or hear of some person who is fulfilling his dream and I wish that was me. I could have been a pro squash player if I didn't quit when I was a kid. I should have asked out a certain girl from school. I think about the job I shouldn't have taken or girl I shouldn't have dated. I think these types of things are all very normal things to reflect on. But what I realized recently is that I spent so much of my time thinking about the past that I was acting like the best part of my life was behind me and that my opportunity to have the type of future I always dreamed about was long gone. 

People who are not happy with their job or relationship feel like they are stuck and that they can't do anything about it. It was refreshing hearing a story about George Mumford in his book The Mindful Athlete say that he was miserable in an accounting job, but none of his co-workers would leave because they were dependant on the money they were now making. George decided to leave with no idea about what he was going to do next. I can't imagine any adult doing something so drastic without a plan in mind. It's irrational and something only a child would do, no? Well he made a whole new life for himself and it sounds like he is quite happy with his life changing decision. He was so brave take that first step and it completely changed his life. 

So why as adults do we feel like it's too late to do something worthwhile, something more or something better? How do we get out of being so comfortable with our day to day to live how we want to live and do things that get our creative juices flowing? 

As destructive as it is in squash to be thinking of the previous rally in the current one it can be just as deadly in other areas of our lives. This doesn't mean you have to change everything about who you are or what you do, but maybe you just have to take a look at your life and see what if there is something you've always wanted to do and have given up on it. Do you continue to procrastinate about something because you're comfortable with your current life and have trouble changing your mindset and finding the motivation to start? 

For me personally I just started to realize that I took work too serious sometimes and it became work, when it should have been more enjoyable because I love squash and I love working with kids. So for me it wasn't even changing anything in particular it was just my mindset. I also decided to finally get my knee surgery which will hopefully allow me to play squash again at a competitive level and perhaps I can compete in some competitions one day soon. A few months ago I also started filming skill challenges just for fun. I stopped thinking about what I hadn't done and started doing things I wanted to do. 

I had no reason behind doing any of these things other than I just enjoyed inventing new skills and trying to see what I could do. Spending time doing things like these challenges or writing this blog is way I take control of my life now while I also create am exciting future with endless possibilities. I also recently designed some Serious Squash merchandise just for the heck of it. Why invest with a bank when I can invest in myself! Where will this all lead? I don't really know, but I'm doing things that I enjoy and creating my own unique path for my life. I'm living and enjoying each day because of what I get to do and rarely do I catch myself drifting off to my childhood and wondering what could have been because I am making things happen that are way cooler than I could have ever dreamed of. 

I feel like once things begin to happen and fall in place I was happier and more confident in what I'm doing with my life. Recently a squash company reached out to me and has expressed interest to sponsor me (including some cash, yes a retainer!) to produce my skill challenges for them. I don't know where this will lead, but I enjoy the possibilities and the creativeness behind my unique path. I followed my passion and doors began to open. 

I still enjoy writing these blog posts when I have time and a topic that fascinates me. I've always wanted to design some clothing so I'm excited about this as well. I'm not doing any of these things for the money and I think that's a big reason that they motivate me. If I simply followed my coaching to where I could cash the biggest pay cheque I know that I would never be happy. It's crazy how money can corrupt people and control their lives and trying my best to not let that happen to me. Good thing I don't have expensive taste :)

I'm not saying I have it all figured out and I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging. I'm only writing this post in the hopes that it may inspire someone else like George Mumford did to me. It's never too late to have a dream if we just start doing things we want to do instead of only the things we have to do. If you've always wanted to write a book, or run a marathon, volunteer or become a professional squash skill challenger why not do it now? Maybe just write 1 page for your book with no other expectations. Just because other people may think it's irrational and not support you if you do what you love, I believe that your passion will shine through and people will be attracted to that. Most importantly is that you too will feel more fulfilled and find some joy with the path you've created for yourself.

I hate when adults try to make kids grow up too fast. I feel like most adults like to see kids maturing and becoming responsible young versions of themselves, but what happens when the kids in them is completely gone and they don't find any joy in their life anymore? It reminds me a bit of how adults try and tell kids how to play squash; that they must play high percentage shots, taking away all the creativity and passion for the game. This is what we are all susceptible to and even more so as we get older.

Even though I was training in the hopes to playing professional squash for many years it was because of this that I learned that I could do anything I put my mind to. I simply needed to find something that I was as passionate about again before I could put the same time commitment and love into as I had once my squash. To me squash training wasn't work it was how I wanted to spend my time just like when I write a post or film a new skill challenge. Nobody was forcing me to go to squash or train. It's a shame when adults live years of their lives and don't do anything with passion influencing their life. It doesn't always have to be something big to be significant. 

I've always kept squash close to my heart and it has brought me to where I am today. I'm creating my own path and doing what I believe is best for me, not what others believe is best for me. I'm sure many coaches think that what I'm doing with the skill challenges is immature or a waste of time, but I could care less. Some of the stuff I'm doing will work out others may not, but I'd never know if I only sat by and never tried any of it. I sat by long enough and now I'm making things happen for myself. There's no time like now for you to do the same. 

I'd like to finish off with a quote I recently read on Twitter which really hit home for me. 'The best gift you can give to someone is believing in their success..' This is true for yourself too! Don't stop dreaming or acting like a kid sometimes. It's never too late to make a change and do what you want or become what you want to be. The only thing stopping most of us is our brain. If you've always wanted to travel to or even move to Australia, get a new job, become a musician, no matter what it is you can do any of it if you really want to. 

Go ahead, come up with a ridiculously awesome goal that you would love to happen? Think about it for awhile. What's the first step you could take towards achieving it? Because remember if you want it bad enough you CAN do it. You just need 1 person to believe in you, and that person has to be you! When YOU start believing in yourself life becomes exciting and the future is full of possibilities. You won't need to live vicariously through your kids anymore if you make time for doing something for yourself or with your kids. If you are lucky to enough to know what I mean I'm fairly certain that you also spend very little time reflecting on your past because you find more joy and fulfillment in the present moment. Right now is all that matters. 

Psychologically Preparing To Win As The Underdog

Welcome back to Serious Squash! It's a busy time of year and my posts seem to be happening less frequently these days. I have not forgotten or given up on my side project. I have a lot of planned interesting topics on the horizon. Hopefully today will be an interesting one for all of you. Before I get into today's posts I should thank all of you over the past 19 months that have commented and written me emails about my posts and Serious Squash. I just reached 200,000 page views so I guess someone is reading what I write and finds it interesting. I hope I have got you thinking about squash more in-depth and most importantly I hope that I've helped improved some squash games along the way.

Today I'm going to talk about the psychology of playing who we perceive to be stronger players, perhaps even people we believe are out of our leagues. I don't think I can go a post without using a quote and this topic reminds me of this one, 'limitations live only in our minds.' I truly believe we are all capable of much more than we believe. In sports we often give our opponents too much credit and undervalue our own abilities and strengths. Today we are going to look at some ways to change our mindset to help us prepare for success even when we are a self declared underdog.

 I've played a lot of matches over the years. I've played as the underdog, the favourite and many that could have gone either way. It is no doubt easier psychologically going into a match as the underdog as we have nothing to lose. Although when I hear someone say this I do joking point out that 'you do have the match to lose!' Even though I'm joking I don't want a player going into the match thinking it's a forgone conclusion and there is nothing left to play for. If we go into a match believing that we are a major underdog and have no chance at winning, we might be wasting an excellent opportunity to improve, measure our game and perhaps even pull off a big upset.

Redefine Success: I remember often being nervous when I played someone I thought was better than me. Nobody wants to get embarrassed on the squash court. There's nowhere to hid if things aren't going your way. When I was young and playing a stronger player I would always try and protect my ego by saying that one day I will get to this level, I'm just not quite there yet. I feel like by doing this I didn't give myself the best chance of being successful at that moment. Maybe success wasn't winning the match, but perhaps success was something different, like proving that I belong. If we just keep telling ourselves this we will eventually be more focused on the future and missed out on wonderful opportunities in the current moment which we could have potential won.

Staying Focused On The Process: sometimes I found myself doing better than I expected in these matches and a few times I let near wins slip away. We see the light at the end of the tunnel and it distracts us. It can be much more challenging than it sounds, but when you're near the end you can't be thinking just that. When I got close to beating someone I thought was stronger than me I started thinking too much about the possibility of winning and beating this great player. Once we start to see the finish line or that we actually have a chance our focus often shifts and we lose the zone we were in that got us in this great position. Regardless of level I assume this has happened to all of us at some point. Maybe some of us undervalue our own ability, while other times our opponent is just not quite up to par that day and we have a real chance of winning. So how do we go in believing we can win? And how can we prepare ourselves psychologically to take advantage of these rare opportunities when they present themselves?

Anything Can Happen Mindset: when we go into a match as an underdog I know I often tried to do too much, thinking I needed to do something extra special to beat this person. When I did this, I simply gave my opponent free points and easy openings. We need to make these players beat us and prove that they are better than us on that day. Just because someone has more rankings points or has a more successful past, does not guarantee that they will be successful on this given day. Go in and play to win regardless of who you're playing! We play the game because anything can happen. This is why even you can bet on even the most lopsided sporting matches. It may not always happen, or even often, but it doesn't mean that it won't today.

Give 100% For Every Point of Every Match: Everyone has a physical and psychological breaking point, even those that seem indestructible! You never know when it could happen or who it could happen to, so you have to keep you head down and keep battling for each and every point. Someone may look great in the warmup, but as soon as they get into an extended rally you can tell that their game begins to show some cracks. Even if you lose that match, you may have been close than you thought. Maybe all it takes to crack through and get the big win is getting a good start or 1 or 2 extended rallies; maybe then the person you thought was on a pedestal is within your grasps. If you have any doubts just remember that your opponent does, they just may be better at hiding it.

Prepare For Competition To The Best Of Your Ability: all we can really do is prepare the best we can for competition. We can't worry about what our opponent has or hasn't done. If we're playing a player of a high caliber we may give them more credit than they deserve. You don't know how they are feeling and how well they have prepared. As the saying goes, 'failing to prepare, is preparing to fail.' If you've prepared for the match you have to believe you always have a chance. If you've prepared properly you should feel confident. If you've prepared you should also be able to withstand the extra running you may have to endure. I've seen many more technically skilled players lose because they weren't fit enough; this is why proper physical preparation for competition is so important to success.

Winning Breeds Confidence: sometimes it just takes a win against a top player to believe in yourself and your ability to compete at that level. The more chances you get to play a stronger player the more likely you are to get that win. Losing too much isn't good ether, but neither is winning all the time. The top players that always win will feel pressure to continue getting these flawless results. I think it's important to play against people weaker, stronger and at your own level. Many people prefer only playing people at their level or stronger, but it's against weaker opponents we learn how to handle that pressure of being the favourite and also get to work on closing out games/matches and controlling points. And as this subtitle goes, winning breads confidence, regardless of the opponents level.

Set Mini Goals: when playing a stronger player I like to set mini goals. Sometimes it will be to get a game, or get a certain amount of points. Other times it will be to extend the length of the match and the duration of the rallies. If I'm playing a stronger opponent I should always leave the court completely spent. Other goals I like to set include my tactics. I like to focus on something simple like getting my opponent behind me and off the T. I don't know many players that can consistently beat me from the back of the court. At the end of the match I really want to make sure that my opponent had to work hard for the win. I may be exhausted and have covered more court, but I want to see that they are tired too. If I can do this against a stronger opponent I will feel pretty satisfied with my progress.

Slightly Shift Your Tactics: today seems to be the day of quotes, so here's one more! 'The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.' In squash this isn't so straight forward. It's can be difficult to tell if we have the right ideas, but are just unable to execute them well enough. If you believe your tactic is right, keep trying it over and over. I see many people give up on their tactics, because they are trying to do too much to beat this superhuman player. Although if you keep trying the same type of game and it isn't working, maybe it's time to switch it up just a little. Sometimes 1 small change is all it takes. Changing your serve, the pace your hitting the ball or your shot selection can pay real dividends. Even strong players have areas that aren't as good as the rest; do you know what it is? Can you exploit it? Or maybe you've become too predictable and you need to try a new trick. Make sure you don't play outside of your ability though or you will be giftwrapping the match to your opponent.

So there you have it. I hope you enjoyed this topic as it could really be an entire book or series of books all in itself. The mental game is something under-taught and difficult to measure. I know the toughest opponents I've ever faced were all fearless and always gave 100%; they didn't care who was on court with them or what the score was and they were always prepared for a battle. The good news is that being mentally tough and always giving 100% is a goal that is realistic for all of us, regardless of our skill level. If you want a good book about underdogs check out David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants by Malcolm Gladwell. This book will probably get you to think twice about how we define underdogs and favourites. Here's the link to it on Amazon:

Thanks again to everyone for reading my blog and sending me feedback. If you have any suggestions for future posts please feel free to send them along. Working at a school I also have some flexibility in the months of June-August each year. If any of you would like me to run a squash camp at your club or come to you for some personalized coaching sessions feel free to send me an email. I've also recently started doing some private video analysis for some clients across the globe. I'm always looking for opportunities to expand my squash networking around the world. Please feel free to contact me at info@serioussquash.com for any topic post suggestions or business related inquiries.