When people first start learning to ski they are taught how to fall so they are not scared of this happening and injuring themselves. When I thought about this I started comparing it to squash and learning how to fail, or lose. See for some reasons we've come to think of losing a competition as a form of failure. Almost all of us have stepped out on the court often and played trying to lose than playing to win. We worry abut who we are playing and what the result should be. It's no wonder we normally play our best squash when we are up against a stronger opponent where we don't have any pressure and they do.
I know a loss in a big tournament has bugged me for a year or more. I now try and give a short window(5 minutes) after to learn from the match and then completely move on. Unless you've filmed the match or are going to discuss it later with your coach it's best to let a loss or win go as soon as possible.
A squash match isn't like a test in school or any other test for that matter. If you prepare properly you generally know you are going to be successful, but in a squash match only 1 player is going to be the winner on that given day. Failure isn't something anyone enjoys and generally makes us want to train harder so we can succeed next time. But once again this doesn't mean that success is a given. If you prepare to the best of your ability I believe it can take off a lot of pressure and improve your confidence heading into a match, which are both very important to improving your likely of being successful, but it doesn't guarantee success. In fact, nothing guarantees success in sport, that's why we play the game.
One of the hardest things to teach a kid is to give everything they have to try and win, and even a little bit more, but that it is still okay if they do not. This is why as coaches we talk about process goals so often. When we set goals based solely on outcomes they are in many ways out of our control. This again makes me wonder if it's possible to redefine success from your matches so that you are always successful? Obviously if we break success down into some controllable categories it can be. I like to focus on the preparation leading up to the event/match, the effort and competitive level and if the athlete was able to experience the zone. Experiencing flow show a level of focus and being able to calm ones nerves, shake off bad moments which is essential to playing at a high consistent level of squash.
We could also talk about tactics, but nobody gets tactics completely right all the time. But if we focus on playing the right shot we will help our long term development most. Many people think that playing the shot that they are most comfortable with and will mess up less is smartest, especially in the big points, but this is also going to limit your growth and development in the long run. If you continue messing up on the right shot over and over in a match, at some point you need to put it on the back burner and work on it more in practice, but to never play the shots you're working on until they're perfected shows you are again focusing solely on the result and not the better picture. So when we look at measuring success on this level, someone could win a match, but not be successful. It's really all a matter of how we define success.
We care about winning and losing. We care about our ranking and doing our best, but these are all factors that will take of themselves if you focus on the things within your control. It's extremely difficult to let go of the fear of losing or being defined by your level of accomplishments, but it can also free you up to play better squash, with less pressure and ensure that you will enjoy playing for a longer span of time because it's more about the journey of becoming the best you can possibly be than it is about focusing on only winning each match you play. This means you won't be one of those old men are your club who still throws a temper tantrum in the C consolation draw. So yes, basically try your very hardest to win each and every time you step out on court, but don't focus on winning or let the outcome define if you were successful :)
There's some new Serious Squash products coming to the store soon. There will be a very limited number of custom designed yoga mats an another new product coming out in a couple of months. There are still lots of tees and 2 instructional films for sale. Check it all out at SeriousSquashShop.com
One of the great things about squash is that compared to other sports it really can be played your entire life, but for many of us it isn't. In squash you can be competitive and play tournaments at age, from under 11 to 75+. Since finishing juniors or varsity squash we tend to see most squash players disappear from the competitive squash scene. Some will continue to play the odd regular game with someone at their local club while others will turn to the more social and easier on the body game of hardball doubles. Once I got into coaching I also failed to play as much competitively for a variety of reasons. I think a lot of this stems from people moving on to the next stage of their lives and today's post is about trying to keep people in the sport after their junior and college careers and in doing so increasing participation in squash tournaments.
Team pic after winning an OUA title for Western Ontario from about 10 years ago (from all my years at university there were just 3 of us that played nationals this year)
When you're a kid you don't have many responsibilities. Even at university squash practices are all scheduled for you. There's also a lot of perceived expectations and self-imposed pressure that can take its toll on you over the years. When we finally finish competing as a junior or varsity athlete we have to set up everything on our own and clearly many of us do not make the time or have the desire to organize our own daily training schedule. Our focus turns to more adult like things such as careers and making money. Early adult life is for getting our career and our love life in order so we push aside our hobbies such as squash. It can also be quite a relief to let go of all that pressure you felt to win during your junior and college days.
Besides the challenges already discussed above there is another issue I believe keeps people out of competitive squash after juniors and university. As an individual sport we have all worked vey hard to get to a certain level and to play at our highest level requires daily practice both on and off the court. If we are unable to prepare to play at our best many of us just won't enjoy stepping on court and playing well below our potential; none of us want to lose to some junior we know we're better than. After all squash does require an extremely high amount of physical fitness to be successful at a high level which is very challenging to maintain when a weekly training schedule isn't planned out for you. Is this starting to sound familiar?
Long time rival and friend from juniors in the finals of the U.S. Open
From years of playing squash we have built up an ego about our skill level and who we believe to be better than or similar to. We like to preserve this level in our minds about what level we can play at with just a little bit of discipline and training. But even still at this years senior nationals (held in the squash capital of Canada, Toronto) the masters divisions of 30 and 35+ were very tiny. We don't have to worry about playing 2 matches in a day or losing to some kid because they're training every day and we're too busy living like adults. In the women's masters events they didn't even have entries in the lower age groups. It's kind of ironic that representatives of Participaction were on hand at the nationals when it's the one's who weren't in attendance that need that kick in the pants.
I know from growing up in Toronto and playing at university how many strong squash players there were and still are in the area, yet most didn't play in the nationals. Is it because they don't have the desire to play tournaments anymore or do they not think they're good or fit enough to enter? The age groups are much more about fun than the competitive open or junior events. I wonder why most didn't play when it's in their home town while I'm flying across the country to go compete.
I guess the main thing I take from all of this is that I wish more people would just get out and play and keep the squash spirit alive! It's easier to say than do, but if we don't worry about winning and losing and simply having fun and reconnect with old friends we battled against as juniors it could be a lot more fun than pain. If the nationals was held anywhere besides Toronto I'm sure the age group draws would have been even smaller.
I don't know what we can do to get more people to participate after juniors or varsity squash, but it would be great to keep more of these people stay in the game. Squash is a pretty small scale sport and it's a shame that so many skilled people who spent such a large portion of their youth playing squash stop competing and being a part of our sport. I know people begin to have families and get busy with their careers, but I know I would really miss squash if I just stopped playing and being around the game.
Do we need to find a way to make squash less competitive or less physically taxing for those that aren't playing much, but were once strong players? What if we played to 7 PAR or best of 3? Or simply guaranteeing just the 1 match per day? I'd actually really like to see the low tin used on all courts for amateurs so this could be a good step too. Or perhaps the best way to keep all of these people involved at tournaments is to provide lots of free beverage tickets ;)
Squash Canada and each province needs to find a way to keep all of these previous juniors involved in squash at any capacity. I know there is a big gap right now for people that want to go from juniors or varsity squash to the pro level. Maybe it's just up to each and every one of us to just sign up as long as we are relatively injury free. Nobody is ever completely healthy and fit when they get into their 30's and this is why they have age groups! I know it's too easy to listen to the reasons why you shouldn't, but remember life is about experiences and getting outside of your comfort zone. Hopefully this trend will change and we'll see more people getting back into the competitive side of the game. Remember that you don't need to be playing the best squash of your life to play in a tournament. There is more pressure to prepare for competitions when you're a kid, but this is only self-imposed when you're older. Sign up and play and don't take yourself so seriously. Let go of expectations and your ego and you may just find yourself enjoying the best game in the world with an old peer.
Play squash because it's fun and because you love it. If you're worried about the outcome you have to remember it's just for fun and exercise. Let's help keep the game strong with increasing participation which likely also will increase the tournaments beer sales too! Support your local club tournaments and play provincials or nationals whenever possible and especially if they're close to your hometown. This post doesn't just have to do with Canada or Nationals, but any club in the world. How many times have you made illegitimate excuses not to participate in a tournament because you didn't feel 100% prepared for it? Let's all try and say 'sign me up' a little bit more. Let's try and remember that the game is bigger than any single one of us.
I leave for vacation tomorrow so there will be a break from postings. I'm certain I'll come up with some new great topics to write about once I return so stay tuned for those. This summer I also plan on beginning to film the 2nd Serious Squash instructional film. Stay tuned for more details. If you haven't hear yet, the 1st film is a full length instructional video titled 'The Secrets Of Solo Hitting.' It contains 30 solo drills and tips to improve your game. The film can be streamed and downloaded at SeriousSquashShop.com/collections/coaching-videos and there is a no questions asked money back guarantee that comes with it. Here's a video preview of the film:
A pitcher in baseball may want to strike out the batter, but all they can do is select a pitch and try and hit his/her location. What the batter does afterwards is out of the pitchers control. A poor pitch can be swung on and missed while a perfectly executed pitch can be hit out of the park. This post is about learning to focus on making your pitch (with confidence) and accepting whatever follows. If you can continually concentrate your efforts on improving the quality of your pitches you will give yourself increasingly better odds at producing the desired outcomes. Everyone wants to win, but nobody can always win or completely control the outcome.
When we grow up we are surrounded by people praising achievement. People who win elections and win sporting championships get parties and parades thrown for them. I loved squash more than other sports because winning or losing was mostly in my control. In a team sport you can only do so much and I enjoyed having a big part to do with the outcome. When I was young I also loved winning tournaments. They'd make announcements at school after you won a tournament and you'd get some really cool trophy or squash racquet. I remember even making the front page of the local newspaper at some point.
I know from experience it's a difficult balance helping a kid along this journey because most parents want to support their children and embrace success, but also are careful of not pushing too hard on the result side of it. I enjoyed winning and being the best at something and my motivation was 100% intrinsic. If we're good at something we tend to like it, practice it more, become more skilled at it and win even more; the trouble with this process is that our ego can disrupt our progression and the ability to perform at our best because we are only thinking about winning and not necessarily on the process, which after all is what dictates the results. What a tough concept to grasp.
Fear or anxiety of a poor performance and outcome leads many people to avoid participation in tournaments. It's much easier to handle winning than it is losing. Other people love competition and only play their best squash when they're in a tournament. Do you still register for a tournament when you have no chance of winning it? Do you play better when you're a favourite or underdog?
After many years of playing and coaching at tournaments I have a more relaxed approach to competition, but don't let that fool you into thinking I still don't want to win every match I play or coach. It goes without saying that we should always give everything we have to try and win, but winning should never be our goal. I always try and praise effort and preparation over results. If you've done all you can to prepare and leave it all out on the court, the rest will be simple. I believe the outcome focus for tournaments puts extra pressure on you. I've seen it many times where someone plays not to lose and is unable to find their zone and coincidentally their best squash.
Although I've just stated how your focus should not be on winning, there is 1 trait that going into a tournament expecting to win can give you which is desirable and that's confidence. There's a big difference between someone that goes out there not expecting to win and someone who is. This is the difficult balance we need to find as a squash player. How do we step on court each time with the confidence to be successful without focusing on the outcome?
Many times when we play against stronger opponents we give them too much credit and play without belief that we can win and because of this we don't leave absolutely everything on the court. Even at the highest level you don't always see the underdog do absolutely everything within their power to win that match. But again, how can we do absolutely everything within our power to win our match without focusing on winning? It may sound cliche, but it really is about focusing on the process. If we can focus on the process we can concentrate on playing the right shot more often and less about avoiding slightly risky shots and not losing. If we think so much about only winning our current match it can hold back our long term development and we may not give our best effort when there is no chance of us winning. Try your best, play the right shot, commit to it and accept whatever the results may be. It's not just about this single shot, point or match. Maybe your opponent is simply better at the moment, but if so that's just a great opportunity to learn and become better from it.
A little more on playing a stronger player, at least try and keep them on court as long as possible. I see it all the time and people just try forcing the ball short from poor positions hoping to sneak a few cheap points or don't try at all, but that isn't going to beat a better player or allow you to improve; if anything you're just ingraining destructive mental habits. The best chances1 to beat a stronger player is to get into super long rallies and hope that they lose their focus and give you a few cheap points because maybe they are thinking too much about not wanting to lose. They may even get more tired than you expected and all of the sudden you can find yourself creating some more positive openings. That's why you should always give it everything you have and never panic during a match. If something isn't working yet, it doesn't mean it won't at some point. Keep fighting until the last point is over. You see people lose focus at game or match ball all of the time. It's almost like they let their focus slip because surely they can close it out from here. We start thinking about winning, or that we are about to win and we change how we think and play. This nicely illustrates how destructive the outcome focus can be to our squash.
In Canada we don't have an under 11 at nationals because they are worried about early specialization and kids competing at such a young age. I think this is crazy, because I believe it's up to the coaches and parents to help the kids learn about trying their best and having fun at a young age. We all need to learn how to handle both winning and losing. Yes there will be a few tears, but that's okay it's a learning process at this age. It's still a learning process in the under 19 division too! I think all kids will develop better if they can learn the delicate balance between wanting to win, but focusing on the process and development. Eventually you realize just how many areas there are we can improve in our squash game. We can improve our swing, our accuracy, our power, play around with different types of spin, make better shot selections and of course improve our mental game and get fitter, faster and stronger.
Winning happens if we improve all of our skills and become the best player we can be. It's nice to see your hard work pay off in the form of wins and rankings, but this is where fitness and technical testing can help too. If we can measure our improvement in our training sessions, we will have confidence we are improving without the need of specific outcomes or rankings. If we increase our confidence in our ability to play longer and harder railer or hit specific shots more accurately in our matches we will have a better chance of being successful.
You probably have heard the popular term, 'focus on what's under your control.' In sport this is so critical to playing your best. If we waste our energy getting upset about a lucky shot our opponent hit or a bad ref or a tough draw we are setting ourselves up for trouble. All of these things are out of our control and this is what makes life and sport so fascinating. It's learning how to handle adversity and focus on doing our best which this journey is all about. I love the challenge of trying to find the optimal mindset for playing my best squash most consistently. If you can do this and stay hungry to become the best you can possibly be you will get your share of results so don't worry about this area.
Wanting to win is fine, but focus on the process and on improving your game. When I ran a provincial junior camp before nationals this year I worked with some amazing young players. I had a questionnaire and the first question was what are there goals for nationals? Many had to win or make semis, etc. There's a lot that goes into winning such a big title and it's great to have such motivated athletes, but I also felt they were too result oriented. How are they going to play relaxed squash, especially when games are tight if they are focused on the outcome only? Again, you never know how the draw is going to be and how the other kids will play. Squash isn't like a class in school where getting an A for everyone is achievable. In squash there is only 1 winner, but that doesn't mean many of the kids competing shouldn't leave happy with how they performed and where there game is at. It's the fact that they (their ego), their coaches, parents and peers all want them to win too. Kids can easily attach their self-worth to their sporting results. If someone leaves absolutely everything out on the court and plays to the best of their ability that is as good or even better than someone who won the tournament. We need to learn how to feel satisfied with these areas regardless of the result. As I've already mentioned praise effort and preparation not results.
A competition is simply a tool to measure your game and how much you've improved and what you need to work on going forwards. If you come up a bit short you may be hungrier than the person who won the title. If you won the title you may put too much pressure on yourself to repeat this the performance the next time. These are the lessons that I love about sport and I wish I had someone to help me rid my ego and outcome focused squash brain when I was young. If I knew how damaging it could be to solely focus on the outcomes I'm sure I would have changed it because I wanted to be the best I could be, but I had no idea that my winning every single time I stepped out on court mindset was also causing damage to my development. Nobody wins every match and if you are you aren't getting challenged. And I know there's people out there saying that this is a soft Canadian way of thinking, but I disagree. I am all for trying to become the best you can be, but I think there is a healthier process of getting to this place.
I just got back from playing in the 35+ Canadian Nationals. When I was playing in the 30+ a few years back I played to win. One time I did and another year I was the runner up. The year I lost it bothered me a lot; I kept replaying in my mind how I could have won. But even now at my age I've realized how debilitating these goals and mindset can be to my performance. Yes I did finish 2nd this time around too, but I didn't leave the tournament constantly thinking about how much it sucks that I didn't win. I know how I can prepare a bit better next time and that's that. If I only played in a tournament when I knew I had a really good chance to win I may never play tournaments again; that's part of the beauty of sport. I used to always be asked 'what happened?' or 'how'd you lose to that guy?' if I didn't win a match or a tournament. That puts a lot of pressure on you, so it's really about learning to not care what others think about your squash game and letting go of your ego and focusing on what is under your control, the process and getting better. Yes I wanted to win this time around and I had a shot at it, but it just didn't happen. I tried my best I can live with that. Maybe I'll win next year and I'll give everything I have to make that happen, but that's not my goal.
Have you bought a copy of The Secrets of Solo Hitting yet? 99 copies sold and counting! It's a 64 minute instructional squash video on solo hitting. There are over 30 solo drills with tips on how to improve your solo practice. Pick up your copy at SeriousSquashShop.com/collections/coaching-videos Here's a preview from the Serious Squash Youtube page
Being a Blue Jays fan and watching them fall apart here the last month of the season makes me think about how the focus on the outcome of sport can cause us to perform poorly. I think back over the years of competing and whenever you're the #1 seed there is some form of pressure. I don't know why we focus so much on winning when that is what causes us to feel pressure and is not what we should be focusing on when we are performing.
For anyone who has not been watching the Jays collapse it is quite apparent. They are playing against teams that have nothing to lose, are loose and having fun and they are beating up on the supposedly superior Blue Jays team. The Jays know the importance of each game and when you've played over 100 baseball games where the outcome of each game is not nearly as critical, it's no wonder they begin to fall apart when they actually NEED to perform at their best. It's such a strange sport because of this. You obviously want to win every game, throw a strike every pitch and get a hit every at bat, but that just doesn't happen. You win some and hopefully you lose less. But when the standings are really tight and the ending of the season is in sight and playoffs are on the line it's interesting how the pressure to perform has gotten the better of a collective group of elite athletes. It must be super difficult to HAVE to win now when the games matter more and perhaps trying harder is the exact opposite of what they need to do.
Let's get back to squash. We've all experienced this before; you are winning and nearing the end of the game or match and all of the sudden your thoughts to drift to the imminent victory and your opponent begins to not try so hard. It's no wonder in this previous example that the player who feels they are going to lose starts to go for more shots and feel more relaxed. Meanwhile the person who was in control most of the match begins to think about the outcome and has lost focused. After the person that was winning loses a few points in a row they begin to feel some anxiety about what is happening. Sound familiar? So how did we all end up focusing so much on the outcome when that is exactly what destroys us? How do we learn to shift our focus onto more positive and controllable actions?
I think a big problem starts when we grow up watching pro sports. We hear praise for our local teams when they succeed and curse them for underperforming. We have parades when our home team wins a championship. What kind of child doesn't grow up thinking they have those same standards when they compete? We all want a parade! We want to be better than other people and we can measure this in sports from the scoreboard. This is setting kids up for disaster because everyone is going to lose and we shouldn't feel bad and like we let someone down when we do. This is just the society we were brought up in. Somehow we are more proud of our kids if they win. That's a lot of pressure to feel when you step out on the squash court. Think about how tough this is over the course of an entire year. We aren't always going to be in tip top match form so how can we expect to win against people we believe we SHOULD beat regardless of the day? And when a child loses a tight match they end up in tears, yet the winner is all smiles and proud of their accomplishment.
First off an athlete needs to understand that there are various cycles throughout the year when you are working on different areas of your game or fitness and the outcome of a match during these heavy training or non-competitive times simply do not matter. Even during the competitive season I feel we would all benefit greatly by focusing on the process of our performances versus our results. I remember often going into a practice match with an idea to implement some new tactic to practice it, but when it wasn't working and I began losing I would quickly abandon the concept and just do whatever it took to win. This is something most of us deal with. We can only think about what we want now instead of what is best for us down the road. We have pride in our ability and an ego to feed.
Have you ever avoided hitting the right shot because we are afraid what happens if we miss it? I assume this anxiousness is because your thoughts are completely about the outcome. If we miss an opening we could lose! This is how I eventually started turning things around. I began focusing on playing the right shot and not worrying about the execution whatsoever. If you do this the shots will get better with practice and you'll be more committed to the shots you go for. In squash you have to play some shots with higher degrees of risk. You'll also focus more on what you should hit and on the tactics in general. If we can stay relaxed and enjoy our squash we will also hit better shots with less tension in our arm with added confidence in our shot selection. This is an important step for becoming the best player you can be, at least it was for me.
You may be thinking that this sounds a little soft and not competitive. I enjoy competition and hate losing as much as anyone, but I have only learned later in my career how much this narrow mindset held me back and put more pressure on my results. Winning is not completely in your control and it isn't fair to say you didn't perform well just because of a scoreboard. You could very well of played up to your standard and just didn't have the result you had hoped for. Losing is actually a great learning tool. Without a doubt I have learned the most from my losses. I didn't like those lessons, but they were very important. If you avoid competing against players you think you should beat you are probably doing this because of the pressure you feel to win and that there is nothing to gain from the match. This is a silly and a damaging mindset. You should not be avoiding competition for this reason because this is an outcome based approach and unless you are 1 of the best in the world you are still a developing player and in the learning stage of squash. Stay humble. If we focus on the process and what we're trying to do and improve upon on court there is always a reason to tie up your shoes and compete. Just be sure you go into these matches with more than simply an outcome goal.
As a more experienced coach I don't worry about if one of my kids are winning or losing. I try and focus on what they're doing and how they can do it better. It's all about learning and becoming the best they can be. So although squash is played against an opponent there you should focus on what you can do on court. There is a lot each opponent can teach you if you're willing to pay attention. If you don't do well against someone it simply means they have exposed some areas you need to improve, which is not a bad thing! If you love squash and are dedicated to becoming the best you can be you should thank them, go and work on these areas diligently over and over again until it gets to the level you are satisfied with. You go back out and retest what you've worked on and you get a new assessment of your skill and this repeats over and over again. And if you're like me you'll just work on these areas your squash career because you'll always know that it can be better and more consistent with just a little more deliberate practice.
I feel like the best squash the world has to see will come from a completely process oriented approach by a player. They type of player will always be looking to improve and will never be satisfied with any result because they are basically a perfectionist for a sport that can never be perfected. If you don't focus on winning you won't feel the pressure over the course of the season or your career and you will experiment more. To become the best we could possibly ever be that means we must be willing to make a lot of mistakes, experiment and learn from them. If we avoid trying things because we may make mistakes and lose in the short term we are only hurting ourselves and lowering our ceiling of potential. I hope this makes sense to you. It seems very clear to me and I wish I hadn't won as much as a kid. Maybe I never would have quit squash and maybe I would have learned to enjoy playing more and also focus on improving my game and not focusing on the other kids and being better than them.
It's only natural to feed our egos and want to be better than other people. In squash a good player can build up quite an ego. If you really want to be the best I suggest a process based approach and a deep love for squash. Stay humble and work on becoming the best you can be. I feel like many parents and coaches are so caught up trying to make their kid better than some other kids. When really it should all be focused around fun and how to help each of those kids become the best that they can be (which is not measured simply by their result of playing one another!). If you measure this just on their performance against one another, how do you think the loser of the match it going to feel? Does that mean all that work they put in was for nothing? Why can't they both feel like winners because of how amazingly talented they are? There is a delicate balance that I feel it is being crossed by a lot of parents and coaches around the world as they push their kids to pursue their own personal agendas (not their kids goals). If this happens there is even more pressure that these kids are going to feel every time they step out on court.
All this being said I still have no problem with a kid trying to become a national or world champion. I just believe they need to learn to focus on HOW they become the best that they can be, not just on being the best compared to other people. If you truly pursue being the best you can be you'll give yourself a great shot and you'll be able to play with less pressure and focus on the outcome. This is why I think process goals are so critical. You ask kids to set goals and 95% of the time they are only process oriented goals. How you achieve these outcome goals is what you should focus on all of the time.
All of the above is why I am also against prioritizing tournaments for juniors. Yes some events are bigger and the competition is more fierce, but we put pressure on them if we write on their annual training plan that this is their most important even of the season of their career. We are spending lots of money to take our kid to another country so we want more value for this investment. This is junior squash and an amateur event. Of course we don't want them going to a an event unprepared and without confidence, but the stage shouldn't be too big for them either. It's just about doing what they do back home and learning from playing new players what they are doing well and what areas need to improve. It's also about learning to prepare the best you possibly can and if you do this there is now way you can ever leave a tournament as a failure regardless of the results.
Every time a kid plays a tournament they want to do well and every match matters equally; same for most adults. But really they are just measuring tools to see how we're doing and they will let us know if we need to refine our training. I think that if kids can have fun when they play at tournaments regardless of the 'specified level of importance' we give it they will generally perform better and take away a more positive experience. But I do see how this could change because we are all built differently and we all handle competition differently. Some have lots of anxiety and get really nervous while others adrenalin. Others hate competition altogether because they feel pressure to perform and don't like doing something they can't control the result of. This is because we were all brought up in a society that's praised winning and shamed losing, both in business and in professional sports.
That's enough for today. I feel like there is way more pressure on kids to achieve certain standards now compared to when I was young. Is your goal as a parent or a coach to get your kid into a top American school or to become a professional player or to love the game and play for their entire life? Do you know what the goals of your child are? Maybe that's a good place to start with because they are likely quite different and they may surprise you. They are also probably all process oriented and you may be happy hearing that they want to be a national or world champion, but the key is in the HOW not the WHAT.
I hope you guys enjoyed my banter today. If you haven't already done so please check out the new Serious Squash Store at SeriousSquashShop.com Use the code 'SSROCKS' to receive 15% off your order! I've got lots of t-shirts, tank tops, bandanas, hats and wristbands. Serious Squash is also now a clothing sponsor which I know is a bit ironic after todays topic because the standards are based on your national ranking. But I do offer lowered tier sponsorships for kids with exceptional work ethics, are well behaved and excellent role models. I am not against competing or rankings. I just like them to reflect your process oriented goals and hard work.
