Lessons In Losses

Today I'm going to talk about the importance of losing. I'm going to start off with a quite by John Wooden, the famous college basketball coach. Wooden said the only thing worse than losing too much is winning too much. Wooden had undefeated teams and he said they couldn't play their best basketball during the season because they felt pressure to continue to win and keep their streak alive.

Most people hate losing and this is why some people stop competing altogether. But avoiding competition isn't a solution, it's simply avoiding the issue. We think that losing is like failing and nobody wants to be not good enough. Staying confident and positive regardless of the outcome is one of the hardest things to accept in competition, but is an essential skill of top players. Winning and losing has such a major influence on our self-efficacy. When we win we feel good about ourselves, we lose we think we played awful and sulk. But someone always loses in competition; it's part of sport and is what makes it so exciting to play and watch.

This is why it is important you play against a variety of opponents; some that are a bit weaker than you, some at your level and other a bit better. I've always felt that I learned more from my loses. I thought about them more and they made me train and prepare better for future competitions. If you win all of the time you aren't playing against a high enough caliber of competition and you are failing to test yourself. If this is what you are doing you are holding yourself back from your true potential. You may become complacent with your current training routine and don't feel motivated to do more and try new things until you are pushed to do so.

The one area I get worried about is when people become complacent with losing. Some people lose too much and instead of fighting harder they are broken and are used to wilting when the going gets tough. This is a learned behaviour pattern is more psychological than physical. Learning to break out of this takes time and a change in your thinking. Here you could try setting small goals such as starting strong (e.g., being the first to get to 5 points), trying to win 2 rallies in a row late in a game, winning 1 game, focusing on your shot selection. You also will need to learn how to change your thinking patterns. If you've lost too much you automatically think negatively when you see yourself in a similar predicament in the future. You need to recognize this and understand that history doesn't always repeat itself, you can do this, you need to believe in yourself and come up with something positive to say to yourself. Learn to dig deeper when things seem the bleakest and anything can happen.

I already talked about how losing keeps you motivated to work harder and try new things. We may try and avoid playing stronger competitors because we don't feel ready to compete with them yet. You need to be brave enough to get out on court with a stronger opponent and learn from it. Don't take the results personally. In my opinion this is basically like getting a free lesson. The best players in the world have also lost the most. In squash it can be pretty psychologically damaging if you play someone a few levels higher than you. They can probably make quick work of you if they wish. This can be a tough pill to swallow especially for young kids. It takes a long time to jump up a number of levels, so be patient and persistent. You will get there if you believe and keep up the hard work. When we come up against a much stronger opponent the goal should be to make them work as hard as possible and give 100% effort. You never know what can happen. Also in future rematches they will respect your game and your effort and will expect a battle because of your previous effort. It also never hurts to ask them afterwards for some tips. Most good squash players are happy to give some tips afterwards. They likely have a better sense of what just happened on court and can offer you some excellent feedback. I always like people that aren't afraid of getting on court with stronger players, they enjoy the challenge like a puzzle that simply takes time to figure out the solution. You'll never figure out the puzzle by avoiding it.

So why else is winning too much no good for you? I feel one of the most important reasons is because we focus too much on immediate results and avoid trying new things that could have long terms gains for our game. This could happen in a number of different ways. Maybe you revert back to old habits and shots because they work and give you the desired result and you are comfortable doing this. But this is actually making it more challenging for you to reach your long term potential and goals. I enjoy trying to play new shots and a variety of shot combinations. This may come at the expense of a few more mistakes and maybe losing today, but can make a big impact on your long term development. Try and see your mistakes as a sign of learning and development and don't dwell on them. If you're not making any errors you're playing too safe.

I should also add that on the flip side of the coin, we can focus too much on long term goals and not put in our top effort to win today. I remember playing matches and thinking during them, well if I don't get this one I will one day down the road. You should be focusing on winning that match as well as keeping your long term development and goals in mind. This balance is what is so delicate and critical to being successful today and down the road. Regardless of the result, ask yourself afterwards some tough questions and continue learning and improving.

There's always a best player in a club. If that person is much stronger than any other member they will have to look outside of the club to get tough matches. That is if this person still wants to see how much better they can get. I've been the best player at a few different clubs over the years. I got pretty creative to make it more challenging. I tried playing matches where my opponents point total tallied over from game to game and I tried winning 3 games before they won 1 game.

I also enjoy playing matches where you put restrictions on yourself or playing someone after a tough training session. Sometimes I would do 10 court sprints after my opponent gets a multiple of 3 points. Of course you want to make sure you do this with someone who understands what you two are doing, like a sparring partner. Doing something like this in a regular league game will just make you seem like a jerk. Seek someone who is keen to train and is close to your level and is pretty fit. You can also try and set up back to back matches. Although I'm sure some of these things helped me, they were no replacement for playing someone at or above your level. The pace and duration of the rallies is much different and very tough to replicate. If at all possible, find someone that can push you and hopefully someone where the result is uncertain.

Losing is a tough pill to swallow but is part of becoming a champion. If top athletes couldn't handle losing they wouldn't compete with stronger opponents and would not have become so great. Be creative and try new shots. I always applaud good shot selections regardless of the result. Learn to be content with making good choices or trying a sneaky shot even if they don't work out this time. Otherwise you will just keep playing the same style with modest increments in accuracy over time. When you see someone creative or a top player play you realize there are so many things you can do and ways to win points. It doesn't have to just be by hitting good length and waiting for an error or very loose ball. You can also force the action, but this territory will come with plenty of mistakes as you learn how to execute them properly and when to play them.

I want to finish off this subject explaining another reason why healthy competition is so invaluable. If you win, but are not challenged, the win isn't very meaningful. If you win all of the time the wins also diminish in value. But if you win only once in a while and it's against tough competition you will have really tested yourself and they will hold more meaning to you. You have to be willing to put yourself on court with people of equal or sightly higher standards to get that sense of accomplishment. And even if you don't win this time around you will have learned more than sandbagging and winning with ease in a lower level. Although this can go both ways, where people perceive themselves as stronger players or don't want to risk losing to people that they believe are not at their level. This is why I like the U.S. ranking points system, you automatically are entered in the appropriate point level when you enter an event and have to have results to move up a division.

Have fun with your squash. Always play to win, but don't concentrate solely on the outcomes. If Ramy had done that as a child he never would have come up with such a masterful attacking repertoire. High risk shots can become consistent breathtaking shots with plenty of practice and patience. Play to win, not to not lose. You must make countless mistakes and lose to a lot of people along the way if you truly want to become the best that you can possibly be and a great champion.

Believe In Yourself

Today I'm going to talk about self-efficacy, self-confidence, positive thinking, believing in yourself and how this leads to success in all areas of life, on and off the squash court. Can you really fake it till you make it? Do you believe you can win each tournament you play? If you've lost to someone previously, how can you go in believing you can win? How can you learn to see yourself as a winner? Besides winning what other ways can you build a person's confidence? When in a challenging situation do you give up or get up?

Let's take an example here. Two players are at the same level, perhaps identical technically, tactically and physically. One of these players completely believes they can win, they expect and know they will, while the other just hopes they do and will see how it goes. Who would you bet on? When the player who is confident in their ability gets into a challenging situation they will pick it up and stay positive because they have an unwavering self-efficacy that they will be successful. Clearly the person that believes they be successful has a much higher probability of actually doing this. If you're the one that lack self-confidence in your ability to be successful how can you change this? How can you hold yourself to a higher standard and be tougher psychologically? How can you play every point, game and match to win regardless of your opponent?

Quickly, I should mention what self-efficacy is. Self-efficacy is the confidence that you can accomplish a task or a goal. Dr. Albert Bandura built a self-efficacy model many years ago that divides it into 3 core components: vicarious learning, mastery experiences and social persuasions. Vicarious learning is gained by using someone similar as a model.

Let's look as some examples of these core components. If nobody thought they could beat Ramy Ashour and then all of the sudden James Wilstrop beat him, other guys on the tour would have a bit more belief that they could do this as well. They may look at how Wilstrop beat Ramy and build their gameplay around this. So even though this person has never beaten Ramy before, if they are similar to Wilstrop's level they will have gained some confidence in their peers result. In a similar example, let's say Ramy was playing Wilstrop. Wilstrop gets a good start and a lead in the first game, and maybe even wins the first game. This gives James some believe that he can beat Ramy. Of course if Wilstrop beaten Ramy in a full match previously he would be much more confident that he could do it again. Social persuasion is reassurance and belief from people around you that you can accomplish your goal. A lot of players need to hear this because they lack self-efficacy. If you keep hearing that people believe in your ability and that you can be successful, this can have a positive influence on your self-confidence.

So how can you believe in your ability to be successful if you haven't been? How do you stay positive and upbeat regardless of what happens? I believe that you should always play to win, but to improve your chances of winning your focus should not be solely on the outcome. If you believe you can win you won't get discouraged when you face obstacles such as a bad call, or a injury timeout, the ball breaking, or losing a few straight points or even the first 2 games. Look at these as challenges; the tougher the challenge the more meaningful it would be to overcome. If you don't win, well you have to believe that they next time you will. This unwavering confidence is an attitude that extends beyond the squash court. If you believe you'll get that job or that the girl will say 'yes' when you ask her out, you will probably be right. And even if you're incorrect, that doesn't mean you won't be right next time.

I had a lesson this weekend with someone that is very talented. This person has great racquet skill, but doesn't believe that he will be successful. I asked him to repeat after me, 'I will win the Canadian Junior Open.' Let's just say he didn't convince me. The point was not that I think he can win, just in the way he says I can do this and achieve something great. This got me thinking, how many of the kids going to the Canadian Junior Open actually believe they can win? There are only 8 divisions and just 8 winners. But surely more than this believe they can win. If you believe you can win when you go to a tournament, even if you don't win you will be one tough out. This was the point I was trying to make. There are less talented kids going to this event and expecting to do well and win. Losing has damaged his confidence, so how do you rebuild it?

The first thing I recommended is believing that you can win this single point. Don't get ahead thinking about the whole tournament or match. Regardless of who you play, you can beat anyone in 1 rally, even Ramy! So play to win this point and believe you can. If you don't say something positive and tell yourself you can win this one. This is a good method for staying in the moment and not getting ahead of yourself. The tougher your opponent the more difficult this will be. But it is humanly possible, win this point and then the next. Maybe in the end you'll lose on paper, but you may just have played the best squash of your life by believing and fighting for every point. With this attitude you will begin to have more success and will eventually have a mastery experience that will bolster your self-efficacy. Never give an inch, even when you're down game or match ball. If you want to know more about that, read this previous post http://www.serioussquash.com/2014/10/never-give-up.html

If we look back to Bandura's model, social persuasion is another positive way we can believe in our ability. This is why I feel it's always important to tell people what they are doing well, not just the areas they need to correct. I believe in my athletes and let them know that I do. If we give them this support and they know we believe in them it will help. Be positive and if you need to give some constructive criticism, put a positive spin on it.

There is one area here that I should clarify. You can be successful every time you play. Although we normally define success as winning and losing, it's the process which leads to this. I don't expect people to play any better than their ability, but to play their game and try their best. If you can do this for an entire match you can never lose in my eyes. This is hard for most of us to see. Try and concentrate on playing the right shot and continually making good decisions. If you do this, but make a few mistakes on your shots, that's fine. Sometimes we all make a mistake in our execution, but continue playing the right shots and you will overall be more successful. So yes, I've just talked about believing in yourself and that you should play to win. But now I am saying focus on the process and don't think about the outcome. Which is it?

Believe you can win, play to win, but don't put the pressure on yourself that you have to win. All of us that play squash will lose matches every so often. If we don't we aren't playing healthy competition. So we all need to learn how to believe we can win even after we don't. Go out an expect to play well, don't wait to play well to believe that you will. Confidence should come first and you can see it in the knock up (as I discussed the other day here http://www.serioussquash.com/2014/11/the-knock-up.html) and in a person's body language.

Learning to focus on the process is an important trait for playing consistent squash and for continuing your development as a squash player. I like asking my athletes what their strategy is? How do they like playing? When are they most successful? To play your best you need to be in the zone. When you're in the zone you can't be thinking about the past or the future. To be in the zone means to be completely absorbed in the present task. You can imagine how challenging this is to do if you're not happy with how you're playing. This is when you have to give yourself a break and have a short memory; just move on to the next point.

If you're an attacking player you will likely make a few mistakes. Look at Ramy in the finals of the World Championships. In the first game he made about 6 unforced errors against the #1 ranked player in the world. Did Ramy stop playing his game, nope! And he someone won this game. I've heard Ramy talk about how he has to fight the negative thoughts, the demons when he plays. Because he knows for him to play his best and be successful he has to keep the attack on, even after a few mistakes. You need to have a short memory, especially after you make some unforced errors or lose a match. If Ramy got tense he wouldn't have such soft hands and immaculate touch. Ramy needs to stay loose and confident no matter what or else he wouldn't play his game. If you want to play attacking squash you have to be able to stay confident and positive to play this style effectively.

I've covered a few interesting topics today. Self-efficacy and focusing on the process of the performance. Just because you haven't beaten someone before doesn't mean you won't in the future. I remember one match when I was in university and I was beating who I thought was a better player. I noticed in the 3rd game he wasn't moving right and seemed to be having some trouble with his back. I didn't keep the pressure on and let him back into he match. I eventually lost and he asked me after what happened. And I recall saying that I just didn't think I deserved to beat him yet. I didn't think I was good enough, but there I was in a winning position and I let it get away. I was in the zone and had him down and out. I can say that I did get my win a couple of years later. Although what happened at the previous tournament was disappointing it was a learning experience. I learned my lesson and it hasn't happened again since.

Last quick story. When I was a kid I remember being asked to visualize myself play. I was never able to see myself hitting good shots and winning. I don't know what it was, but I would see myself hitting loose shots and losing rallies. I don't know if this was because I had low self-confidence or that I just wasn't good at visualizing yet. I was pretty successful and a good junior but I couldn't visualize myself playing winning squash. Looking back this is something that I should have continued working on and trying to change. Instead I just didn't do it because I couldn't do it properly. I do believe that visualization is another method to improve your self-efficacy. If you can see yourself in your minds eye playing well you are more likely to go out and do so.

Do you always need to have success before you acquire confidence? Dr. Bandura and I don't believe so, but it certainly helps. Once upon a time the 4 minute mile was thought to be impossible until Roger Bannister broke it. The following year a bunch of people did. Seeing Bannister break this proved to others that it was possible. But how did Bannister do it in the first place? He proved that just because it hasn't been done, doesn't mean it won't. Play to win, focus on the process, believe in yourself no matter what and you will be more successful and a much tougher opponent.